The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit

These two weeks, I have been reflecting of the Holy Trinity.

Realised that it’s the least celebrated among the 3 big feast, Pentecost, Holy Trinity and Corpus Christi.

I have been grazing on this Holy Trinity icon for the past 2 weeks and indeed have discovered more about myself. I realised that I’m always the observer. As I graze at the icon, I was watching the scene going on, wondering what they were talking about. Are they discussing about me? One night, on my bed, I suddenly asked myself, why am I looking from the outside, I should also sit with them at the table.

So the next day, I tried to enter into the scene. However, I couldn’t. I tried and tried but still ended up as an observer unconsciously. Only then I realised that I’m just projecting ‘who I am’ to my self. It’s ME!!! I’m always staying backward to look at the situation and until I’m very comfortable then I will take the step forward. That again explained why I took so long before answering to the invitation to religious life. I must consciously remind myself about this behavior otherwise, many opportunities in my life would have just slip away without me knowing because I’m still waiting and watching.

I also made a new discovery on Pentecost Sunday. I realised that the Holy Spirit is the busiest person among the 3 person. The Holy Spirit has to take instructions for the Father and work on all human, yet, how many actually follows the Spirit’s direction? But he never gives up, the Holy Spirit will also think of ways to realigned us back to the Father. However, he’s also the least recognised person.

This attached icon on the Holy Trinity painted by Andrew Rublev is now in my head and I could picture and see it in the dark with my eyes close. When I see it with light, it gave me a sense of affirmation and comfort that I not only have One God but three, who are all supporting and guiding me.

Try spending some time grazing at this icon. Oh… try researching about this icon, it’s meaning and it’s symbols too… it’s very meaningful and beautifully drawn.

May,
God the Father, my commander
God the Son, my model
God the Holy Spirit, my leader
         bless me, my friends and love ones. Amen.

Fish, Mangoes, Coconuts and Pineapple

Please don’t eat them!!!!

Not that they are poisonous, but…

Let’s start with Fish.

2 days ago, I had hands on experience in cleaning fish. My goodness, it’s so gross. Had to cut the fins, open the gills, dig out the intestines which continue little fishes, and all the ‘stuff’ in the stomach. My hands were smelly and bloody. Was telling myself, if I knew it’s so much of work cleaning a fish, I wouldn’t want to eat it anymore.

Mangoes….my favourite! Your favourite too?

There few days, we have been harvesting many mangoes from another house. We do have mango tree too, but not ripe yet. Anyway, even it’s ripe, we have to share it with many ‘friends’. Well… I never had such a hard time eating mango in my life. Smell good, look good, but what’s inside, you do not know. I never ever had such a hard time eating mango. Now, before taking one, I had to meditate on it, pat it and put on a winked face before cutting open. These ‘friends’ hides only in the sweet mangoes. Sounds like us. We hide our ugliness in our sweetest looks. Anyway, ‘friends’ are my wormy brother and sisters too… ai yo… too much trouble to eat…. Better don’t eat.

Now…Coconuts

Nearly had to climb up to pluck the them, but thank goodness, with the help of 2 guys on the streets, they plucked down for us. If you know why we always say the words ‘coconut head’, you will know that coconut are very hard. I was happy to be given an opportunity to try chopping it open, but I didn’t manage to. A sister more then twice my age had to help me. It’s really hard work, lots of strength and skill needed. Now I could imagine coconut sellers having to chop so many daily, must be really tired. So think twice before drinking coconut.

Oh yes… Pineapple too… my goodness… if you ever cut open a pineapple, you will know what I meant… I rather buy a slice from the fruit stall.

In conclusion….. looks like Angeline is going on a diet, since it so hard to clean fish, chicken ….cook…. better live on rain and sunshine. Well, if you really need solid food, hopefully you are just as blessed as me, able to just sit and wait to be served. On a more serious note, yes, I’m starting my kitchen work, I don’t superbly like it but it has a lot of teachings in it. I’m not dragging myself to the kitchen YET…. neither am I finding joy in it. I would still rather sit and wait to be served… ha ha!!!

O Lord of hope, help me enjoy dirtying my hands dealing with life giving things rather then things that only destroy my inner being. Because our God is always giving hope to us, I am convince and assured that one day I will be able to overcome my fears and dislike.

Returning back to KT…….

My journey back to KT was an experience. I took 2.5 hours to travel from Tampines to Larkin station (Johor). Well, eventhough the journey was long, it was very smooth. At Larkin Station, I almost missed the bus. When I saw the bus with a signage ‘Kota Bahru’, I knew it wasn’t my bus, but I went to ask the driver, he says no too. Then I sat down and waited. I felt very strange because it’s almost 9am and buses were leaving instead of arriving. So, luckily, I starred at a man from the bus company whom I met earlier at the bus counter. He noticed me and came to me. I showed him my ticket and he pointed to the ‘Kota Bahru’ bus. So I was re-assigned to another seat, I asked if there’s single and they gave me the last seat. In the bust, I felt so uncomfortable that I decided to pop in a traveling pill which I didn’t plan to eat because I don’t like the effect of it. I would keep on sleeping and would feel very tired. Anyway, I moved forward to another seat and felt better. I was also a little worried that I’m on the wrong bus.

Anyway, thank goodness, after traveling for about 3.5 hours, they transferred me to another bus going to KT. Upon hearing the driver uttering some words about KT… I raised my hands and just response “Kuala Terengganu”, he pointed another bus… so I took my stuff and went to the next bus. The bus drove off, and I felt very uncomfortable, kept thinking if I have taken all the things from my seat. Then I tell myself, Yes, I did, but to my horror, I forgot about my luggage under the bus. quickly went to the driver and just keep repeating “barang barang, barang, barang”, pointing downards, he understodd what I was saying. He replied, but I couldn’t understand. So with a worried face, I asked the other passengers, what did he say? The passengers didn’t say anything, and one lady kept smiling, finally told me that the driver will call, then she says the driver will stop and meet the other bus here. Oh my…. I went down with the driver to wait for the previous bus. Thank goodness, I realised it early and got back my luggage. The rest of the journey was very very smooth and comfortable. Phew!!!

The journey back was a good experience especially traveling in a foreign land. Upon reflecting, I could testify that the Lord was really with me. It was the Holy Spirit who kept prompting me to do a certain thing. Firstly, I was prompted to go to the bus counter otherwise I would just have wait at the platform. Secondly, I felt very strange and decided to get attention from the man I met at the counter. Thirdly, I have a super strange feeling that I have not taken all my things over to the new bus.

Thank God.. I reached safely at KT with all my Barang Barangs.

My whole trip back to Singapore had enabled me to experience a missionary life of traveling, adapting, settling and moving off again. Now back at KT, I have to readjust back to my routines. Although, along the way, I have lost focus and control of myself, it was a very good learning trip too. It’s important that I must keep focus and not allow my own excitement and temptations to divert my mind.